ADH Pee

I remember at some point in my education that someone said the average attention span of a child is equal to his or her age. Meaning my two year old can focus on something for about two minutes before becoming distracted. I see it all the time with her. We’ll be on a walk and she will ask me about a flower or tell me a story then completely change the subject in the middle of a sentence. Unfortunately for me, bathrooming is no exception to this. She'll say she needs to go, but sees something she would rather do on the way to the restroom and forget to go. 

As the mother of three, I try to remember to TAKE her to the bathroom, pull down her pants, and set her on the toilet. I figure from this point she can probably handle the rest. I mean, seriously, we sing about wiping, flushing (I can’t tell you how many times I find a toilet full of poop), and washing your hands about a thousand times a day. At least get the pee in the toilet.

Sometimes, I’m busy (remember three kids) and only TELL her to go to the restroom. I’ll be taking care of the baby and in the next room. Surely I can simply watch the bathrooming from afar and ensure that it happens. This morning, I did just this as I was wanting to prepare lunch. After reassuring myself that I had sent her to potty, all was right with the world.

We were eating a lovely lunch of grilled cheese and tomato soup (great idea daddy!). The girls were thanking me for cooking, and I’m feeling like mom of the year. Suddenly a loud dripping sound, like heavy rain falling on plastic, comes from across the table. I get up to look out the window; is it raining? Why are my feet wet? Where is the water coming from? I look under the table.

Katie, did you pee? She ignores me and continues eating her lunch. Then Josie looks under the table and sees Katie has peed on the balloon she got from a clown the other day (hence the sound). “My balloon! Katie, you peed on my balloon!” Katie simply smiles smugly, ignores Josie, and continues eating her lunch. Seeing the quantity of urine on the floor, I decide to finish my lunch. I mean Katie is acting like it didn’t happen. Why not finish my soup while it’s hot then get covered in pee.

I sit back down and finish eating, it took me maybe all of three minutes. As I’m swallowing the last bit of my soup, I hear that sound again. WHAT, AGAIN, SERIOUSLY! Katie, did you pee? “Mommy, I like my soup!” Did you pee? “Thank you for making me yummy soup. It’s DELICIOUS!” AHHHH! More pee to clean.

I pick Katie up, take her to the bathroom and set her in the tub. “My soup! My soup!” Oh what the heck, I get her soup and take it to the bathroom. She can eat it while I clean the kitchen. So I take her booster seat and chair outside, I’ll hose them down later, and  begin to scrub the floor. Once the floor is done, I figure I should go clean my daughter. I go into the bathroom, and she hands me an empty cup. “I ate ALL of my YUMMY soup!” Good, now let’s clean your pee pee.  “Okay mommy, I pee peed in my pants because I wanted to eat all of my soup. You make yummy soup mommy!” I love you too Katie.

I guess that statement about attention spans depends on what the child is doing, because we all know peeing in the potty is not nearly as exciting as eating soup!